Something I wrote when we found out about baby #2....

Written September 26th

"As fall reigns in all its glory outside, my heart is so full and my eyes brim with tears. God's blessings to us are more abundant than we deserve. And as I prepare to celebrate two years of marriage with my dear husband this weekend, I am so, so grateful. He has sustained us, blessed us with good times and hard (I won't say bad, for the hardest times were some of the best, in his providence), He has taught us both much about love, and he has given us such a happy joy to share with Ezra in our darling little family.

and yes, in these two years, he has given us two children. And I rejoice with abundant, unspeakable, heart shattering joy. This is the moment that I finally realize it is real. And what great hope I have.

For now, we will celebrate. I have sat trembling in my soul for too long, though it be but a day. But what if we lose what we love so much? If we must grieve loss, let us grieve loss. But in the meantime, let us rejoice that the Lord hath been mindful of us. How would it be to grieve not only loss, but not having fully loved? So here, we will love dearly, our dearly beloved child. And we will hold on to joy, knowing that God doeth all things well. Not all things according to our plan, but all things well. So whatever He ordains is right."

It is true. Lord, help me have the faith to believe that what you ordain is right, even when it is hard--sometimes very hard--for me to understand.