Run Well

I am not a runner, by any means. My sisters are runners. They win or place almost every single race they run.

Me, I just run on occasion. But these days, with a wedding around the corner, maybe--just maybe--I'll become a little more faithful of a runner.

Today I set out to run for the third day in a row, and started writing in my head while I ran (because while I may not be aspire to be a runner, I want to be a writer. And what better way to survive running but to write in your head while you do it?).

Two days ago, when I first started putting those tennis shoes to the pavement, running was so easy. I know I must not push myself hard enough, but it's usually not hard for me to pick up running again after being away from it for weeks or months.

(Ok, so as I write this, I realize it's probably mostly because I don't push myself very hard. But anyway...)

Today, running was not easy. You know that feeling of "oh yeah, there are muscles there? Hm...haven't felt you for a while, Mr. Muscle....pleasure to make your acquaintance." (And this is an instance where it's just about as pleasurable an acquaintance as when you're in tall grass and meet a snake three inches from your toes--in flip-flops. Fortunately that's never happened to me, so I don't know what it feels like. But I digress.)

Today, I guess mr. and miss and mrs. and muscle junior were all feeling a wee bit tired. So running was harder. I panted and the breaths were shallow.

And I realized just a few things:

1) It's easy start well. There's the novelty of the thing and you're not tired yet. Even though it may not be an easy task, per se, you don't yet have to endure. 

I looked up the etymology of the word "endure" today. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the word endure means "to undergo or suffer (especially without breaking)". There we go. Today, I decided to undergo the difficulty of running. (Ok, so it wasn't that bad).

Sometimes, the sticking it out when it hurts worries me. "It hurts! Surely I'm doing something wrong! I've got to change this!" And yeah, maybe there's hurt of a wrong kind that indicates something's wrong. But today's hurt? It was simply the hurt of pushing against those lazy muscles to grow. Growing is no easy work! I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to be strong enough to endure. 

Proverbs says "If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small." I want a large, robust strength. The kind that clydesdales and combines are made of. Fortunately, it's not my own strength and what's bestowed is stronger still than these silly illusions.

2) The other thought was, "this is not the kind of day I'd want to go running with someone." When you run with someone else, you have to be strong(er). You can't just quit thirty-seconds into the run and go home like you could if you were alone.

And if you're running with someone else, they'd see that you're no superstar athlete. As a matter of fact, I still try to hold up the illusion of being more fit than I am when I'm around those runner sisters of mine. Susanna comes sprinting down the streets of Hillsboro, easy-as-pie-smile on her face, and I'm walking. As soon as I think she might see me, I start to run again. Because, of course, that's just what we humans do. We play the part and wear the mask to pretend we're so much more than we are and be so much fake.

So it's hard to write an email to your best friend admitting mistakes and weaknesses and problems that seem too big to resolve. But if you don't, there'll be no pressing on together. You can either fake it or make it work, and I'm so grateful God has put people in my life who don't let me give up hope when I'm ready to call it quits.