He is *still* good . . .

Right now, I'm facing a battle I never knew I'd have to fight. And it is oh so very hard. So I fix my eyes on Jesus, and throw myself on Him, asking not for the peace and joy and contentment that the world gives--for of such I have partaken...such things I must abandon. But my desperation is of a different sort--that in the waiting He'd fix my eyes on Himself with a fixedness only held by the glories of His grace. Ps. 84 says He will give grace and glory. Suffering will come but the things He holds for us in heaven are ALWAYS glorious. HE is ALWAYS glorious in His perfection and mercy and truth and judgement.

Oh, and His ways are higher than ours.

This verse has always comforted me in the past. It's shown me that He's wiser and greater and just ABOVE us. But what happens when we have that high, upper, above our ways calling and it is plain old hard to reach?

There's been something on my heart for a long time now that I keep asking God if he wants me to surrender. Not that it isn't surrendered--God can do as He will. But I keep asking Him if it's my place to give it up--if it would be more holy to give something good up than risk believing it's a good gift and just embracing it.

But maybe, just maybe, the giving up is not what He knows will produce the most fruit.

I was worshiping today and something struck me. What about "to obey is better than sacrifice?"

Ok, so this might be stretching this passage a bit when the context is considered. Still, I think the principle is a biblical one--one which gets at the heart of the fact that God wants a people whose whole souls are His.

SO what if, in this new battle, this unexpected and unhoped for season of soul stretching, the Lord is saying not "give it up," but "obey when it's not easy, and sacrifice that way?"

(just thinking....)