Time to write and reflect a bit, cause writing is one of the ways I worship.
When you're sick and tired and overwhelmed, but still joyful and happy, you know there's a God and Lord who loves you and holds your hand. You know that His joy can truly be your strength.
Recently, I've been reflecting a lot on just how much God has brought me through and done for me. Remembering times before when everything seemed impossible and yet worked out ok has been so encouraged.
So tonight, in an effort to refocus before diving back into DRW, I sat down and cracked my Bible open to a favorite passage--Isaiah 54. It was this passage that I read with tear-filled eyes when I thought I'd never make it to PHC, and reading it tonight was a testimony to the amazing faithfulness of God and His steadfast, unchanging love.
I still remember those days, just a few years ago, but many long days ago. I was 17, and really had no idea where I was headed after I graduated. I wanted to come to PHC, but I didn't know if and when and how it would all work out. My dad still wasn't sure, and I was starting to grow determined that being home would be ok, would be good, would be lovely. But there was something deep within my heart that longed to go to school and further my education. I'd always wanted to raise a nice big happy family, gather little children around, and teach them everything I could. But I didn't think I was ready, didn't think I'd be able to unless I continued my education and "broadened my foundations." That's exactly what I wanted to do.
So one night, the struggle over whether to go to PHC was raging fiercely in my heart, and so I escaped into my bedroom, closing the door and leaning against the wooden bunkbed. I grabbed my nearby Bible and literally flipped it open to read. I started reading in Isaiah 54:
"In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy upon thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer."
At this time, I had been through a couple of trials that, in retrospect, were small. But at the time, they seemed big, and this verse was my comfort that the kindness of the Lord would not depart.
"O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires, and I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established . . ."
These were truly some of the most influential verses of my entire life. At the time, I felt like I was "afflicted" and "tossed with tempest;" not knowing what the next few months would bring was driving me crazy!!
BUT God promised to lay foundations. And that was exactly why I was telling myself that I needed to come to school. But He promised that HE would do it! And all the time I had worried that I wanted to come to school in case I ever one day had children of my own to teach, HE promised to be their teacher....to compass them about with peace! And the foundations, the windows, the borders that the Lord described here were beautiful ones, good ones, pleasant ones! I realized then that my worries were pointless in the face of such unutterable grace and goodness.
So what's all this meant for my time here at PHC? It's meant that school has never, not a single semester, come easily for me. It's meant that there's been a lot of blood, sweat, and tears when others seem to glide by easily! But even though I don't always show it, it's meant that deep down inside, I've had an abiding peace that the Lord was the one laying my foundations.
And hasn't He been good? Hasn't He been faithful? Indeed, the Lord's steadfast mercy has been more exceedingly abundant than I could have ever asked or thought.
So for now, the rest of the summer is going to be hard. There's not going to be much sleep, and it's kind of scary turning in 60 pages of writing for the hardest professor you've ever had. But when the Lord has promised, He is faithful. That's why grades don't really have to matter; that's why looking back and looking forward I am filled with joy at what the Lord has done, is doing, and will do!! So praise Him.
=)
When you're sick and tired and overwhelmed, but still joyful and happy, you know there's a God and Lord who loves you and holds your hand. You know that His joy can truly be your strength.
Recently, I've been reflecting a lot on just how much God has brought me through and done for me. Remembering times before when everything seemed impossible and yet worked out ok has been so encouraged.
So tonight, in an effort to refocus before diving back into DRW, I sat down and cracked my Bible open to a favorite passage--Isaiah 54. It was this passage that I read with tear-filled eyes when I thought I'd never make it to PHC, and reading it tonight was a testimony to the amazing faithfulness of God and His steadfast, unchanging love.
I still remember those days, just a few years ago, but many long days ago. I was 17, and really had no idea where I was headed after I graduated. I wanted to come to PHC, but I didn't know if and when and how it would all work out. My dad still wasn't sure, and I was starting to grow determined that being home would be ok, would be good, would be lovely. But there was something deep within my heart that longed to go to school and further my education. I'd always wanted to raise a nice big happy family, gather little children around, and teach them everything I could. But I didn't think I was ready, didn't think I'd be able to unless I continued my education and "broadened my foundations." That's exactly what I wanted to do.
So one night, the struggle over whether to go to PHC was raging fiercely in my heart, and so I escaped into my bedroom, closing the door and leaning against the wooden bunkbed. I grabbed my nearby Bible and literally flipped it open to read. I started reading in Isaiah 54:
"In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy upon thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer."
At this time, I had been through a couple of trials that, in retrospect, were small. But at the time, they seemed big, and this verse was my comfort that the kindness of the Lord would not depart.
"O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires, and I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established . . ."
These were truly some of the most influential verses of my entire life. At the time, I felt like I was "afflicted" and "tossed with tempest;" not knowing what the next few months would bring was driving me crazy!!
BUT God promised to lay foundations. And that was exactly why I was telling myself that I needed to come to school. But He promised that HE would do it! And all the time I had worried that I wanted to come to school in case I ever one day had children of my own to teach, HE promised to be their teacher....to compass them about with peace! And the foundations, the windows, the borders that the Lord described here were beautiful ones, good ones, pleasant ones! I realized then that my worries were pointless in the face of such unutterable grace and goodness.
So what's all this meant for my time here at PHC? It's meant that school has never, not a single semester, come easily for me. It's meant that there's been a lot of blood, sweat, and tears when others seem to glide by easily! But even though I don't always show it, it's meant that deep down inside, I've had an abiding peace that the Lord was the one laying my foundations.
And hasn't He been good? Hasn't He been faithful? Indeed, the Lord's steadfast mercy has been more exceedingly abundant than I could have ever asked or thought.
So for now, the rest of the summer is going to be hard. There's not going to be much sleep, and it's kind of scary turning in 60 pages of writing for the hardest professor you've ever had. But when the Lord has promised, He is faithful. That's why grades don't really have to matter; that's why looking back and looking forward I am filled with joy at what the Lord has done, is doing, and will do!! So praise Him.
=)
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