On Having a Baby Right Away

I feel like it is a prevailing notion today that newlywed couples might do well to wait a little while before having children. Perhaps some would attribute this to a need for financial security, an overall feeling of "readyness," or simply a desire to spend their early days as a couple establishing their marriage before jumping into such a huge responsibility.

Clearly Aaron and I didn't have to wait very long before our first child was on the way. Our little one is due to arrive just about nine and a half months after our wedding day. And I couldn't be happier.

You see, I can think of nothing better for our marriage than conceiving our first child almost immediately. So today, I want to record a few of the reasons I'm grateful for this little one being given to our care so soon.

1) Becoming parents creates an "outside ourselves" reason to cultivate a healthy marriage relationship.

Let's face it. Unless Aaron and I are unique in the world of newlyweds, you're going to have disagreements-- and maybe even flat out fights--way sooner than you think you should. (Though I have to say we have been blessed with very little conflict in our marriage, thanks in large part to my wonderful hubby's patient forbearance with me!) But when you have a baby on the way, you are given a wonderful reminder of those vows that you took. "So long as we both shall live" takes on a whole new level of importance when you realize that both of you must persevere for the sake of another.

2) Having a baby is a great way to bond as a newly married couple.

This point is a lot more lighthearted than the others, but let me tell you--there is nothing quite like surviving morning sickness and planning baby names and laughing about the journey to bring you together. It is one of the most precious and rewarding experiences I have ever had.

3) Having a baby is a good way to battle selfishness.

I will admit, there are times when I am sad that in a few months, it won't just be Aaron and I living here at the Magnolia homeplace anymore. I love my man desperately, and I love having hours on a cozy Saturday like today to go to coffee with him and come home and snuggle as long as we want. And sometimes it's hard for my flesh to think of giving up the bliss that these past few months have been. (Though I know the coming months with Baby will bring a different sort of bliss!)

But I don't want to spend my whole life simply basking in my own pleasures. Is there a season where this extra bonding with my husband is extremely important? Yes, yes, yes! But I happen to think that God knows how long that season needs to last, which brings me to my next point.

4) When I don't know if I'm "ready," God does.

This point is a little bit soul-baring, friends, so bear with me. Aaron and I share the conviction that the timing, and number, of the lives added to our family should be left in the hands of the giver of life. We're not interested in trying to postpone His blessings (now rushing His blessings to get here? That's the struggle for this girl who prayed for children soon in the days leading up to her wedding!)

And oh, am I so glad that God has determined the timing of this little life. Why? Because I know He deems now the time, in His perfect plan, for me to raise this little one. I'll be honest with you. There have been times when I have struggled with deep battles of fear and worry that I have to work through. And I have also dreamed of adopting a little one and looked at the process and seen a question that goes something like, "are you in good mental health?" and wondered something like--am I? Will I ever be? Would I ever be "ok" enough to adopt a child? But herein I rejoice; when God gave me this little darling just a few months ago, He knew the dark days I would experience even this very winter. He knew that I was not His strongest vessel. And He didn't make me checkmark a box of soul-mind-emotion wellness, because He knows that ultimately none of us are well but in Him, growing from grace to grace. And so He gave me a baby, a gift, a heritage, that I may embrace completely, knowing that the same hand which gave life will enable me to care for and train and raise and love it because He gave. I didn't have to choose whether this was the best time. He gave life.

I realize this issue is a sensitive one, and if you don't agree, you might be eager to tear my argument to shreds. Where's the scripture to back up my claims? How do I know I'm not just being sentimental? So I ask that you bear gently with this post--knowing it is not intended to be an all conclusive argument, but instead a simple expression of gratitude for the blessings and lessons God has laid on this mommy's heart for the last few months.

I'll conclude this post with a brief announcement....WE'RE HAVING A BOY!! Here's our little guy's adorable, beautiful, perfect face, that mommy and daddy CANNOT wait to kiss and snuggle with in person!