mercy and truth

I thought for sure I wouldn't be updating good old FMIS again until DRW was done and turned in. But life doesn't stop for DRW, loving Jesus doesn't ever stop, and writing is my way to debrief and worship and refocus.

Tonight was just one of those nights when uncertainties I've tried to stifle for months kind of rose to the surface and reared their heads to taunt me with their fear. Do you ever have those moments when you feel like there is no way out--no possible human solution to all your questions?

I guess I've always thought it was just a matter of perspective. That if you got your focus right it would all be ok, after all. But tonight the Lord started showing me, just a little bit, that it's not us getting our focus right that orients our upside-down and topsy-turvy days.

So I spent a few minutes tonight turning back again to the gospel to reorient my gaze onto the One who will perfect that which concerns me. I opened up to John 1:

"And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth."

Then I remembered a similar verse in Psalms that struck me earlier this summer:

"Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other."

One of the things I was struggling the most with tonight was reconciling two things I believe God has called me to. Perhaps reconciling isn't the best word, for I don't know that they are necessarily in conflict. But I love the Lord--albeit, weakly--and truly desired to follow His purposes for my life. Sometimes I get very caught up in hoping that I can really do all that He's called me to in that.

But tonight something hit me. Yes, the paths He has for us are true, certain, and righteous paths. They are to be pursued with our whole hearts. But we cannot forget about grace, mercy, and peace!! These are beautiful gifts from our Father. Yes, we have a jealous God who has all the attributes of truth and perfection. We must follow His ways for our lives. Yet in the meantime, in spite of our bumbling steps, He compasses us about with mercy. He grants grace to the humble. He comforts us with peace when our minds are stayed on Him.

Are there still unanswered questions? Oh yes. Maybe even more!! But you know what the funny thing is? There's a strange peace.....almost a joy that's sneaking into the corners of my heart that's looking forward to the uncertain future.